Forgive me for picking up on the most cliché of topics – I’m not one to (usually) fall into the trap. But, sometimes things happen that, in spite of your rigidly polite upbringing, make you want to point and cry out, “SEE! Case in point!”
Recently, in my rambles I’ve been slightly more aware of the kind of treatment I’ve been receiving from the men I happen to come across. Not that things have changed, but I’ve just been a bit more aware. Let’s begin with an anecdote from Ms al-Azami’s recollections of recent history:
At my chosen salon (and Lord bless the wonderful people that provide private rooms for headscarf wearers) the manager happened to be an Asian man and the attendant a nice European lady. My attendant was slightly overbooked and another customer was waiting. Naturally, the manager could not enter the room so had to call out to her from outside. As such, I was treated to a live performance of his calling her to hurry up in the most agonizing manner, addressing her in the most painful terms of endearment. Given she was neither dressed particularly inappropriately nor single, there were no grounds for such treatment. Nonetheless, she didn’t seem to mind at all, it was clearly just his way. I, however, did feel the need for a basin more than once.
Scene 2: I later came out to make my payment to find the manager completely change his demeanour when addressing me, behaving as appropriately and agreeably as possible. I hadn’t said anything to demand it, but this is the treatment I received.
This particular event especially stood out due to the blatant dichotomy in behaviour I witnessed. However, generally I am forever having men opening doors and applying the ‘ladies first’ formula. Furthermore, on other occasions, be they at supermarket tills or café bars, I have frequently found that whereas the attendant may address other customers with greater familiarity and often flirtation, they alter their conduct with me, employing one of polite propriety.
Why? Because they see that I am a covered lady whose very appearance and attire demands appropriate treatment, as a woman of dignity. It’s not chauvinism. It’s not discrimination. It’s respect.
In a society and culture where all we ever seem to holler for is the sacred R-word, where at the highest levels policies are passed to uphold it and at the lowest levels gangs clash to exact it – yes, I do see this treatment as a good thing. And it is my hijab, that controversial covering of so-called oppression, which evokes it.
It is in the receipt of respect that we gain our dignity as intellectual human beings. It is from the realisation of our personal human dignity that we attain our freedom from the bindings of man. And it is from my hijab that, my experience shows me, the above can be achieved.
So, hijab = liberation? I think so.
You are right. The Hijab is viewed as a liberation for women, in that the covering brings about “an aura of respect” (Takim, 22) and women are recognized as individuals who are admired for their mind and personality, “not for their beauty or lack of it” ( Mustafa ) and not as sex objects.
It’s not all about liberation why the hijab is worn?
Can this object be achieved without the hijab within an advanced civilisation? Or is it that man will be man today and in future and the advancements and progress does not change the attributes of mankind?
Some argue that Islam’s dresscode is modesty and then they look at the local custom (urf) – they start to then conclude that hijab is no longer an obligation.
It certainly isn’t all about liberation. Nor is it all about respect, nor modesty, nor any of that. It is about obedience to God.
The hijab is an act of ‘ibadah which one follows regardless. For me, the discussion of its benefits is only to highlight, not to justify. The Islamic law, as prescribed upon God’s Wisdom and Mercy, should be sufficient to justify (for Muslims). Often we may attempt to justify things upon their benefits, which can then give rise to the problem of thinking an act of ‘ibadah is no longer necessary due to changes in times and circumstances. And if we were to follow our local custom, covering the hair would be the least of our worries.
Forgive me if that sounds a tad dogmatic, but I believe it is important to bear in mind.
jazakallah khair sister, I wanted that clarification that hijab is purely for the obedience to Allah (SWT).
when you mention justifying things upon benefit..insterestingly you highlight this special criteria for action of a muslim – the difference to that of a non-muslim western liberalist: benefit and harm is creiteria by which non muslims take decisions. whereas for Muslims the purpose is to worship Allah (SWT) and so it becomes one of obedience to Allah (SWT) and criteria is halal and haram and then within that contraint is choice.
Real respect comes from men believing that women ought to be respected no matter what they are wearing. I have never been so DISrespected as in the Middle East whilst wearing a headscarf. If a man wishes to disrespect you he will no matter what you wear. And there is no reason why a woman who has hair showing on her head is less deserving of respect than anyone else.
Don’t be so foolish as to think that by subjecting yourself to the oppressive male belief that no woman is deserving of respect unless she supresses her sexuality.
Open your eyes.
A belief is only oppressive if it is imposed upon you against your will. The article made it substantially clear that both the belief and practice are my own. It is not oppression. For you to attempt to impose your very different view, however, is.
To believe hijab is merely about covering ones hair and is based on the “male belief that no woman is deserving of respect unless she suppresses her sexuality”, is to misunderstand it entirely. Hijab has a lot more to it and, Islamically, has nothing to do with men or what they believe. It is between women and God. Only.
So whether I receive more respect from men, in whichever country, is not the essential point. I only practice it to please God as I believe He guided us to wear it and He alone knows what is best for us. The fact that I do receive more respect, including in the Middle East where I have lived, is merely a point of interest and a fact worthy of mention. If some men (undeniably) choose to disrespect a woman regardless, it is not a reflection on the hijab or the faith, but a reflection on their own weakness.
Real respect comes from mutual appreciation. You may not believe in hijab but I certainly do. You may believe hijab is oppressive, but I believe the idea that no woman is liberated unless she flaunts her sexuality is oppressive. We agree to differ perhaps, and that is where respect lies.
So, with all due respect, open your mind.