‘Ādāb: building mutual trust

When I met this very senior figure in our community two years ago – I thought it was merely a conversation to get to know one another. No so. When I met him again a few months ago – he introduced me to an organisation called ‘The Adab Trust’ a name that I had apparently ‘inspired’. Me?

I was then reminded of the conversation we had about the Islamic idea of ‘Ādāb. This was then taken up and they chose this name for this trust which recruits young people into new jobs (website to be launched soon). My friend, if I may call him that, is Stephen ‘O Brien – the Chairman of the Primary Care Trust, Tower Hamlets.

At the outset, I saw in him a man with a genuine interest to benefit the community he serves in east London. At a time when there may be a lot of ‘mistrust’, meeting people like that gives us confidence that we can build trusts.

This brings me back to the topic of ‘Ādāb. Far from being a simple concept of individual manners, it is a way to bridge gaps and build confidence – something Mr O’Brien was quick to recognise.

‘Ādāb is an Arabic term meaning custom; it denotes a habit, etiquette, a manner of conduct derived from people considered as models.

Through Islamic influences, it has come to carry social and ethical dimensions. The root db means marvellous thing, or preparation, or feast. ‘Ādāb in this sense was the equivalent of the Latin urbanitas, civility, courtesy, refinement of the cities in contrast to Bedouin uncouthness.

Prophet Muhammad taught that kindness is required in every instance of Muslim conduct. One of the main ends of ‘Ādāb is to train people to be kind and gentle in every matter and towards every thing. Traditionally ‘Ādāb was not something that was formally ‘taught’, it was something ‘acquired’ and embodied in the very interaction between people.

‘Ādāb performs another vital function: they bring human beings into mutually sustainable relationships.  ‘Ādāb allows us to build trust and respect, which can, given the right conditions, blossom into loving friendships – and loving friendships lead towards true and profound dialogue, to an inward meeting of hearts.